Organic Lives

The garden has become a bit overgrown.

I’ve got a gardener, he’s a nice lad, but he went out on the piss to the pub with his aunty, who is a very portly lady; they got really sloshed and she slipped on the ice walking home. Our lad made a valiant attempt to catch the lady but she fell on top of him breaking his collar bone.

…So I’ve got a gardener with one good arm…

We try to live only on organic food, feels safer that way. Keeping the gardener sober is a full time occupation. It’s like trying to save Holland with your finger in the dyke!

He sits by the fire rolling cigs and having a few beers. I decided to hire an assistant for him, in case he can’t roll the cigs with one hand. SW

P.S. I suggested he go to the AA, he thought it was a type of Czechoslovakian beer !!

P.P.S. The gardner saved up for a weekend of drinking in Dublin. He was accosted by a prostitute, who lifted up her dress to distract him, and she wrapped her leg around him like poison ivy. While our bemused lad was trying to work out city habits he’d not seen before, the lady stole his wallet. (True story). SW