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Simplicity
Simplicity is an enigma. Most people find it very complicated. It's a
straight line from A to B. But it is abhorrent to the human mind. There
ought to be university courses on simplicity. The problem is, the course
would only last for fifteen to twenty minutes, and who would believe in a
Ph.D. in that.
Mushrooms
Mushrooms are one of the most interesting things on the planet. They come up
overnight, which tells you something. They are good to eat and some of them
are very pretty colors.
Magic mushrooms are very strange. And I’ve stood in a field of a thousand
magic mushrooms, and not been able to see a single one. Then, some children
came along and they saw them all, and they picked them. So I followed the
children, because children are not stupid, and they gave me the mushrooms.
Well, some of them.
I have read over 10,000 books. The greatest literature, the sacred texts,
all the modern teachers, some of the ancient ones, the Greeks and so forth,
mathematics, cosmology, physics, self-help, gestalt therapy, all of the
above. And I learned more in one day on mushrooms than I ever read in a
book.
Mushrooms are illegal in most places, because the authorities sure as hell
do not want you to figure out what is real and what is not. If you eat
mushrooms you better be brave. Because they will show you something that is
very spooky which is also very beautiful. Magic mushrooms are God’s gift to
us lowly humans.
However, I would suggest that you stay away from peyote,
because it’s a cactus and makes you throw up, and it always comes with a
rather dubious Indian gentleman who is rather pompous, and arrogant, and he
usually wants something from you.
Crop Circles
Crop circles are very interesting, and extremely bothersome. They’re
impossible to understand, unless you can rotate your mind up to another
level. The trick is to realize that the circle or pattern on the ground, in
the crop, in the field, is only half of the crop circle. The rest of the
crop circle is invisible, and is under the ground, in a mirrored world. I
can’t tell you anymore, because for reasons I can’t go into here, I have an
edgy feeling the authorities might offer me a bullet in the blinking head if
I tell you what the crop circles are really about. I might be wrong but
early death is against my religion.
Heart Trouble
They say heart trouble is caused by eating fatty foods, and living an
unhealthy lifestyle. This may well be true, but I’ve got a sneaky suspicion
that the real cause of heart attacks is people's inability to go past their
fear, and open their hearts and love humanity.
Heart trouble is a long-term emotional condition, caused by being too tight,
lacking warmth, and not loving others. What's hereditary is not a faulty
heart, but the lack of love.
You see, if you have a heart chakra the size of a flea's arsehole, it
doesn't allow you to join humanity, and if you can't join humanity and
embrace it with all its faults, you can't join God. If you can't join God,
your body throws in the towel.
Uncharted Terror
Uncharted terror is when you are completely terrorized. It’s often terror
you haven't seen before. It only comes when you stop being completely
arseholic and you embrace the feminine spirit. I’ve done a lot of uncharted
terror in my life--it taught me to be brave. I found out bravery is not the
absence of fear; it’s being able to operate effectively when scared
shitless.
Holy Days of Obligation
Brooke: Stu’s not keen on churches, ’cos he feels there’s a bit too much of
a control trip going on there. Stuart sees God as very loose and free.
One morning, someone told him that particular day was a holy day of
obligation in the Catholic religion, a day where one was required to go to
mass. So Stuart strolled into church, barefoot, at 11 a.m. in the morning
having been up all night. He was dressed all in black, wearing a sequined
waistcoat and a pair of crystal blue, lapis lazuli snake cufflinks. He
arrived late, just in time for communion. Stuart walked up the center of the
church, knelt down, accepted the body of Christ, thanked the priest and
left. I’m almost sure Stuart is not Catholic.
Orgasm
Stuart again: Orgasms are only for professionals. The rest of us have to
bumble away as best we can for hours. When you orgasm your mind blanks out,
and your soul returns for a matter of seconds, back in the arms of God.
Which is why people often say, “Oh my God” when they are just about to come.
God invented orgasms, so he/she could make sure that he/she can touch base
with their protegees from time to time. You see, it’s a specialist business,
orgasms. It’s really only for initiates and masters. That’s why it’s called
Master—Bation. Anyone can work that out.
Anyway, hack along as best you can, and try not to make a simple thing
difficult. And when you get to God, you’ll say, “I think I’ve just come.”
And God will say, “Of course you have! Thanks for popping by! Follow
instructions. And, love your mother.”
Intimacy
Intimacy usually spooks people out because their hearts are hard and they
feel ashamed. I was in a bar with some boys and girls, dear friends of mine,
in a little village in the Irish countryside. I had my arm around one of the
men, and he had his arms around a couple of the girls, and two of the girls
were holding hands. Another fellow, a good mate, had his arm around me. We
were just chatting. There was a wonderful sense of camaraderie and love
among the group that morning.
Suddenly, the barmaid comes up to us screaming her head off, “This is not a
sitting room. You can’t stand with your backs to the bar, you have to face
forward! Face the front of the bar!” I was speechless. If you happen to be
down that way, hugging a friend, face the front. If you don’t, it will piss
the locals off something terrible.
Begging
Walking down one of the most expensive streets in the world, I came upon a
young woman in her thirties, sitting on her haunches in a doorway with her
hand out begging. She was disheveled, dirty and poorly dressed. She was also
mumbling to herself incoherently. I thought she might be schizophrenic or a
borderline schitzo'. I felt for the pain of her existence.
The sight of her plaintive condition, surrounded as she was by expensive
shops, Louis Vuitton, Ferragamo etc., and a trillion dollars of real estate,
really touched me. It drives me crazy sometimes that there are so many
things we cannot fix. It seemed exceptional to me that politicians,
caregivers and endless taxpayer's money cannot figure out a way to help the
odd soul that is mentally challenged.
On passing her a second time I saw something that had eluded me. I saw in
her eyes a childlike simplicity, and on her face a radiant smile. The pain
of it was too enormous for me to bear. I wondered if I would ever in this
lifetime have eyes as soft and beautiful as hers, or if my smile would speak
with such resignation and humility as hers did. A smile that must have
suffered a million set backs and humiliations.
I said to her, "Good evening, how are you?” She looked up at me and said,
"Fine." In the resonance of that one word, was a spiritual explanation that
seemed as if it was driven forcefully through the center of all eternity. An
explanation that states, though things look terribly unfair and painful at
times, in the eternity of our evolution everything is fine. Even though it
is impossible for us mortals to comprehend why that is so. I loved that
woman and I would have taken her home and cared for her, if I had a home to
take her to.
I walked up the road a way and stopped to buy an ice cream, and decided to
give her all the money I had in my pocket at the time, which was only a few
hundred bucks. When I walked back she was gone, the police had moved her on.
I was distraught, I felt such a great sense of loss. I know my few hundred
bucks would have done very little for that poor woman, but it would have
helped me enormously. It would have helped me grieve for the innocence I
lost many decades ago.
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