Traveling Man


Anyways on the Boeing 777-300 the tray table is down this little hole. It likes it down there.

Tray Table and Seat Buttons

No amount of huffing and puffing, pushing and pulling will induce the table to come out.

I leaned over the pretty blue hole and explained in a soft voice that I was the Dalai Lama and that it was safe to come out now.

The tray table replied it was also Tibetan and that it was in a long-term karmic relationship with the skin on people’s knuckles and it wasn’t budging for nuttin’ or nobody.

His Holiness The Dalai Lama

I asked the air hostess with the Stepford Wives hair do if she could help me and she said she knew nothing about the contraption and that was the last I saw of her.

The buttons on the side (pictured at top of page) operated the seat. They seemed to suggest that if they were pressed carefully in the correct order they could convert the airplane seat onto a king size water bed.

I was too timid to try it. So I sat bolt upright for nine hours.

Sink and Tap in Alberta

This sink in Calgary Airport, Alberta seems to suggest to the dim-witted that placing one’s hand under the tap helps a whole bunch when trying to get the blood off one’s knuckles.

It was good thing the sign was there. Up until then I was about to lower myself upside down from the ceiling on a carabina and wash my hair in it. (SW)

Carabina Snap Hooks for Travelers

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